What Causes Premature Ejaculation? 

The question you’re probably wondering is why? Why, oh why, does this happen? (And at the worst possible time!) Interestingly, various studies have been done on PE, and what the results revealed was that many men could be labeled as premature ejaculators, considering that most men finish up within a period of 2-6 minutes of vaginal entry, usually far less time desired by a woman to reach orgasm. (However, don’t fret, too many other mammals, besides men, actually ejaculate within 15 seconds!) 

The Evolutionary Theory 

Evolutionary theory suggests that premature ejaculation may well be related to procreation. Fast ejaculation, much as we see with lower animal life forms, serves to make sure that the male seed is planted and that reproduction can take place quickly and efficiently. Without such efficient fertilization, the species could slowly reduce in population as females resist the male sex act—or so the theory suggests. In essence, some researchers believe that PE may simply be “wired” into our brains as the result of millions of years of survival of the fittest evolution. Now jump forward to the late 1800s when mainstream feminism began. With these changes and increased emphasis on women having the right to choose male sex partners rather than succumb to a dominant man’s marital wishes came the exploration of sexual pleasure. 

The female orgasm has always existed, and ancient women throughout history may or may not have known about the capability. However, as far as documentation, only within the last two centuries have women have been socially allowed to explore their orgasmic potential through the use of books, scientific studies, and even premarital sexual experience. Not surprisingly, in these modern times, we live, women now demand sexual satisfaction, just as a man would, and perhaps even as a prerequisite to getting serious about a relationship. And from man to man, I can say this. To be taken seriously as a real man, then you are expected to at least make an effort to please your wife or girlfriend. If you don’t even try or ignore the need, your relationship will be strained. In any event, all these feminist-orgasm ideas are certainly contrary to what men have been taught for thousands of years. Both men and women, for the longest time, were taught that sex was purely for procreation or love and that sexual exploration (particularly female exploration) was something vulgar or sinful. So, what we have now is several generations of men struggling to adapt to a new viewpoint and an entire lifestyle change that is contrary to their “programming.” 

The Psychological View

There is another view of premature ejaculation and its root cause, and this one is rooted in psychology, not evolutionary history. Naturally, when a boy is young and experimenting with masturbation for the first time, he finishes quickly, usually to avoid getting caught or perhaps because of overexcitement. Because of the stigma of masturbation being a dirty behavior, he certainly does not seek the advice of male or female mentors. Instead, he trains himself to masturbate, orgasm, and ejaculate, all within a very short timeframe. He trains his body and his ejaculatory reflex to be easily responsive, and now he must un-learn everything he associates with masturbation, sex, and emotional and physical response. Physiological response Last but not least, some believe premature ejaculation is solely a physical issue. Every man has a different body and hence a different nervous system. A man who ejaculates early on has a highly responsive nervous system, whether due to genetics or learned experiences. Furthermore, as men age, their nervous systems undergo change and become less efficient; hence, they can’t last as long as they used to. Similarly, some men may experience PE as a symptom of a more serious medical condition, which is why a doctor’s visit is recommended in some cases, and to rule out the possibility of a prostate health problem. Though, in most cases, the problem is psychological in nature and can be fixed with proper training. 

Chemical Causes and Health 

Another possibility to consider is that premature ejaculation could be indirectly or directly related to chemical production happening within the male body. A lack of serotonin may cause the loss of ejaculation control. Serotonin is known to be an inhibitor of orgasm, as it helps the ejaculatory response and the nervous system to stay calm and to become less responsive. Many men who take certain medications that increase serotonin levels do report better control over ejaculation. Likewise, men with physical problems or poor dieting or health who have affected levels of serotonin do report more problems with PE. One thing is for sure: you are not the only man suffering from this condition. 

Be Realistic About Results 

Now let me be straight with you - You do have to balance the idea of pleasing a woman (and lasting as long as she wants you to) with the unrealistic standard created by alpha male bragging, Hollywood sex scenes, and the bizarre world of pornography. Schoolyard bragging among competitive men (as in, I lasted a full hour!) is just not realistic. In addition, the perfect choreography of Hollywood sex scenes just isn’t likely to happen when you engage in real-life sexual penetration, which is oftentimes awkward and very often imperfect. On the flip side, you have pornography which is carefully choreographed, reshot for multiple angles, and taken for editing purposes, and of course, which contains a few freaks of nature, not to mention plenty of plastic people who are not fair to compare yourself to. 

The vast majority of nonperforming men probably can’t last an hour during intense penetration, just as an average man probably couldn’t wrestle a 60-hour “iron man” match without some rehearsal. So stop thinking of overcoming PE as “lasting as long as Tom, Dick or Harry did,” or “Buck Naked,” whom you saw in a porno film. You can still have great and long-lasting sex, but this result will require a practical and realistic perspective—not a wild fantasy. Your goal is to learn how to satisfy a woman, and this will require adapting to her needs, not just thrusting away and winning some Olympic gold medal. 

And here’s a clue a few chapters early on: the secret to lasting longer is to slowly build up to a peak. It has nothing to do with training yourself to make violent love like a Viking. Think slow; think patient. Think about what a woman wants.

Understanding Blood Flow and Erections 

Before we proceed with techniques and strategies, let’s first consider how an erection is built in the first place. A brief biology lesson may help you to figure out some of the basics. There are two types of erections: first is direct physical stimulation, which does not require much mental processing at all, and this is believed to be controlled by the parasympathetic nervous system. Whenever physical stimulation occurs, the arteries dilate, and this supplies the erectile tissue with blood. 

The other type of erection is caused by mental stimulation by way of the cerebral cortex. This is the largest area of the brain, and it plays a significant role in governing human thinking and logic. The brain is responsible for the perception of information and for instructing other parts of the body on how to react. Whenever you see something sexually arousing, your brain prepares your body for a sexual encounter. Here’s the point: The average guy has no idea about the two different types of erections and is usually not focusing on his erection. He is simply using both erection types for maximum—and very fast relief. So when he has sex, he is not only experiencing the physical type of stimulation but is also overwhelmed with mental stimulation.

Both of these processes are telling him to feel aroused, and with no PE training, evolution (or psychology, whatever you believe) is going to win the battle. Therefore, the first secret to controlling ejaculation is to control the level of mental stimulation and physical stimulation rather than letting them both go unrestrained. Just think for a moment about situations in which you’re not mentally aroused. Doesn’t it take longer to stimulate your body’s response and to build an erection? Here’s a curious fact: Did you know that your penis can maintain an erection without mental stimulation?

Two Phases of Ejaculation Another scientific point to consider: There are phases to ejaculation. 

The Emission Phase: 

The first phase is controlled by the sympathetic nervous system, not the parasympathetic; this emission phase is triggered mentally. The phase begins as the moment called the “point of no return.” This moment may be hard to define, but it’s easy to identify. It’s that moment where your head starts tingling, you feel the spasms and the charging current of energy, and you feel the imminence of ejaculation that cannot be stopped. What is happening is that your sperm is passing from the testes to the ejaculatory ducks (and is mixing with prostate fluids and seminal vesicles) to create semen. This stage ends with semen exiting the prostate and then accumulating in the urethra bulb. 

The Ejaculation Phase: 

This is the next phase and the physical result of reaching the point of no return. At this point, enough semen has accumulated in the bulb of the urethra that it has pushed out into the penis by way of contractions originating in the perineal muscles. These contractions also help in producing orgasm. The pudendal nerve of the lower spine and perineum are involved in this phase, and it is physically triggered, making it a different phase than the one we previously discussed.